Death on the high seas! As told by a stagehand..so you know it has to be true!

So one of my favorite aspects of  working in the entertainment world are all the interesting people I get to meet. I have my share of photos with celebs and all that jazz, but that's not what I'm talking about in this instance. In this posting I'm talking about the interesting stagehand I meet. Most of these guys and gals might be unfairly stereotyped by their appearance.  I'm used to that as I've dressed like one for years even though I avoid real work like the plague.  Anyway so I have an amazing crew of guys that really build all the great shows we get at our venue.  I'll leave their names out so they're not entirely made fun of.  On our local crew we have guys that are sometimes our on the road with giant celebrities, but just happen to live in Tucson when they're off the road. We have a rigger who was a certified motorcycle mechanic for years and is nice enough to help me with my crappy bike projects.  One of my guys had a salvage yard in his family for years and can tell you going rate for jeep doors should ever need them.  Likewise he is full of trivia concerning the trim package on 70's Camaros.  Not that you usually care, but nonetheless if you're looking for that kind of info he's your man.  (Rumor has it he can also hook you up with a nice set of window treatments.)

I should also mention that is anyone ever wants to get involved in the entertainment industry becoming a stagehand is an excellent way to get you foot in the door.  Anyway I love the guys.

So the story goes like this.  This year I took a little cruise through the Caribbean with my grandmother and mother.  That's not my idea of a really exciting vacation.  Nothing tried to eat me so it wasn't that exciting. Well at least one of my guys worked productions on a cruise ship for a few years.  Honestly that seems like a great way to spend your early 20's.  Drink a lot, hook up with dancers and cougars randomly.  So after the cruise I talked to my friend about how his experience was working on a ship.  He had mostly positive things to say except for this lovely story I had to share!
So he tell me about one cruise where the ship went through the Panama Canal. So apparently on this particular voyage there was an outbreak of influenza. (Flu).  Since I'm sure you're aware most of the cruise passengers range in age from old to nearly dead, the flu hits them hard.  Well they had ELEVEN people DIE!

So that was freaky fact #1 for me. I didn't even think that people could die on the cruise ship. But hell if you're that old it's basically heaven's waiting room right?  He said that some passengers would say I just want to see the Panama canal before I die...and then they did!  It didn't even occur to me that there is a morgue on this ship.

Okay, so there's a morgue..BUT it only fits 9 stiffs.  So what to do when you're at see and you have two extra bodies starting to stink up the joint?

Well let's see where else can we stick those bodies?

Bingo!

Let's have an on deck Ice Cream Party!  Little do the other guests know that the Ice Cream was cleaned out so that someone's grandma could be put on ice!  I don't know if I can ever think of going on a cruise exactly the same way ever again.  I like to pretend they just stacked the crates of ice cream on top of the bodies.

-Tank