January 24, 2010

How to irritate those around you...


  1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
  3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
  4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
  7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
  8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
  10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
  12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
  13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
  16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
  17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  18. Honk and wave to strangers.
  19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
  20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
  21. type only in lowercase.
  22. dont use any punctuation either
  23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
  25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
  27. Ask people what gender they are.
  28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  30. Sing along at the opera.
  31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
  32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."


How the media can be easily manipulated...

Stunning animal photography...


Sometimes we take wildlife pictures that we see in books and magazines for granted; seldom does it give you the impressions that they were taken easily. The truth is, photographing animals (especially in wildlife) is very involved, such a moment could only be told through some timely amazing shots. For someone who loves animals, photographing them can be both very fulfilling and frustrating at the same time. Excellent animal photography requires experience, knowledge and patience.
Animals can make very eye catching subjects to photograph in wild. Taking wildlife photography in a place where the animals don’t fear humans makes your task a bit difficult. In their natural environment, animals often provide many opportunities for taking dramatic shots. Let’s now take a look at some of these dramatic images of animal photography to see emotions in the wild nature.

Well not all Americans, but I still think it's entertaining.

"Kayla Kromer, a 26-year-old first grade teacher from Austin, Texas, dressed as Princess Leia, lies in her Millennium Falcon bed."



"Kayla Kromer, a 26-year-old first grade teacher from Austin, Texas, dressed as Princess Leia, lies in her Millennium Falcon bed."

This is a bad...bad idea...like I want my dead relative staring at me???



"British firm Cremation Solutions have come up with personalised urns that look just like the dearly departed. The firm uses facial reconstruction and 3D mapping software to recreate the face of your beloved."

Everyone needs to be humiliated with a tampon stun gun.

animal-photography-eagle

Frank Serpico: Still a Hermit, Still a Badass, Still Once Shot in the Face


Frank Serpico: Still a Hermit, Still a Badass, Still Once Shot in the Face [Things We Actually Like]

This New York Timesprofile of 73 year-old Frank Serpico, legendary cop whistleblower: awesome reading. He's old, bearded, Hermit-y, interrogates trespassers with sleds, and still talks about being shot in the face. But also: has a French girlfriend!Dope.

"No Kicking Penguins"

via Neatorama by Minnesotastan on 1/24/10

An autistic Canadian second-grader has created a meme that has traveled to Antarctica, where scientists in a British research facility have posted the image and declared it to be “official policy in Antarctica.”

In October, [Michelle Chipman] was walking down the hall when she kicked an inflatable penguin — which had been won at the Regatta — out of her way.  Seven-year-old Colby… promptly advised her that kicking penguins was prohibited.  He left the room for a minute, returned requesting Scotch Tape and then posted a hand-drawn sign — a woman kicking a penguin, in a circle with a diagonal line through it (as in a No Smoking sign).  Written around the image was the decree Colby had issued earlier — “No kicking penguins.”

The popularity of the sign and the message has resulted in the creation of t-shirts, proceeds from the sale of which are being used for the benefit of autism societies.

Link, via.

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‘Oral Sex is the New Goodnight Kiss’



via Dvorak Uncensored by Uncle Dave on 1/24/10


Things seem to have changed a bit since I was a young’un.
They don’t give their names, but viewers can see their faces plainly and what these teens are saying is shocking parents.
“I ended up having sex with more than one person that night and then in the morning I was trying to get morning-after pills,” one of the girls said. “I was, like, 14 at the time.”
[...]After four years researching for the documentary, [Canadian filmmaker Sharlene] Azam told “Good Morning America” that oral sex is as common as kissing for teens and that casual prostitution — being paid at parties to strip, give sexual favors or have sex — is far more commonplace than once believed.
“If you talk to teens [about oral sex] they’ll tell you it’s not a big deal,” Azam said. “In fact, they don’t consider it sex. they don’t consider a lot of things sex.”
Evidence of this casual attitude may be seen in the fact that more than half of all teens 15 to 19 years old have engaged in oral sex, according to a comprehensive 2005 study by the Centers for Disease Control’s National Center for Health Statistics.
In the documentary, “Oral Sex is the New Goodnight Kiss,” girls as young as 11 years old talk about having sex, going to sex parties and — in some extreme situations — crossing into prostitution by exchanging sexual favors for money, clothes or even homework and then still arriving home in time for dinner with the family.
There’s a movie coming out based on the true story of “a group of high school girls there agreed to get pregnant, take care of their babies together and, presumably, live happily ever after.”

The Terra-Cotta Warriors of Xi’an

via Planet Atheism by geoff on 1/24/10

So I have seen the Eighth Wonder of the World. And the title was aptly bestowed – it was magnificent, a wonderful experience. You can check out the photographs I took here.

Terra-cotta Warriors

Terra-cotta Warriors


I’m not going to give a detailed account, but there were a couple of interesting moments:
  • While we were driving out of Xi’an to get to the Museum, there was a M5.0 earthquake not far away. I didn’t notice it, though.
  • Having seen so many pictures of grey figures, I hadn’t realized that when the army was created the soldiers were all painted in bright colours. The museum had some photographs of fragments which had retained their (mineral) pigments, and gave a vivid impression of what the warriors might have looked like. I was, of course, reminded of early Christian church buildings: today we admire the pure beauty of the marble and stone, even though they would have originally been a riot of colour
  • I resisted the temptation to buy a replica of one of the figures, and instead bought a coffee-table book about the warriors. After I had done so, a wizened old man behind an adjoining counter offered to sign it for me. He was one of the farmers who discovered the figures back in 1974; he now lives in an apartment near to the museum.
  • When the army was created in 210 BCE, all of the figures had weapons. Most of them were stolen soon after the death of the Emperor Qin Shi Huang (presumably weapons were more valuable than statues), and wooden pieces like spear shafts rotted away long ago, but many weapons have been discovered. I was surprised to see that some the generals’ swords had been “chrome plated”, and that other pieces were stamped with the manufacturer’s name and batch number.
  • I hadn’t realized that every figures was designed individually. These were not stamped out in cookie-cutter style. The detailed work – the patterns on the soles of the shoes, or the way that the fabric of a tunic folded and hung, or the facial expression – was simply amazing.
  • And finally, the museum structures themselves are wonderfully laid out. Yes, the big (”Pit 1″) building was bitterly cold, but the environmental controls seem perfectly suited to the preservation of these extraordinary pieces. Of course we saw it all at the best time: mid-winter, with no crowds. In the summer the place must be a zoo.

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Vatican Bank Accused of Laundering $200m

Meet the blue-eyed alligator

via 2leep.com latest links on 1/24/10

Meet the blue-eyed alligator
With his piercing blue eyes and pale skin this rare alligator stands out like a sore thumb.
more...

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funny pictures of cats with captions


"If someone pointed a machine gun at my daughter and said:
"Say 'Jesus doesn't exist'" and if she turned to me and asked:
"What do I do?", I'd say:
 "What have I taught you to do?" And she'd say:  "Jesus absolutely exists." And I'd see her in heaven."
Stephen Baldwin (actor)
Nicabate Pre-Quit: Emu
paper-beats-rock-2

The Plagiarism Of The Diaspora – The Purloined Chapters Of Proverbs

via Planet Atheism by Krystalline Apostate on 1/23/10

Pektoral_Koenig_Amenemope

Cross posted @ God Is 4 Suckers!

Make holiday, don't weary of it ! Look there is no one allowed to take their things with them, and there is no one who goes away comes back again. – Lyric from the tomb of King Intef VI

It is no surprise to those of us who have studied religious history with an über-critical eye – the Semitic tribe of Israelites borrowed heavily from their neighbors or whichever society they happened to be living in the middle of. Obvious Genesis was a generalized copy of Sumerian/Babylonian mythology, the flood was lifted almost in toto from Gilgamesh, and I’m sure some of our gentle readers can likely extrapolate other various cases of direct (or indirect) ‘borrowing’ of or from mythologies in the Middle East.

The example today is about the Instruction of Amenemope:

Instruction of Amenemope (also called Instructions of Amenemopet, Wisdom of Amenemopet) is a literary work composed in Ancient Egypt, most likely during the Ramesside Period; it contains thirty chapters of advice for successful living, ostensibly written by the scribe Amenemope son of Kanakht as a legacy for his son. A characteristic product of the New Kingdom “Age of Personal Piety”, the work reflects on the inner qualities, attitudes, and behaviors required for a happy life in the face of increasingly difficult social and economic circumstances. It is widely regarded as one of the masterpieces of ancient near-eastern wisdom literature and has been of particular interest to modern scholars because of its relationship to the biblical Book of Proverbs.

Proverbs, in fact, is probably the least insane of the books of the Bible.

Amenemope belongs to the literary genre of "instruction" (Egyptian sebayt). It is the culmination of centuries of development going back to the Instruction of Ptahhotep in the Old Kingdom[. but reflects a shift in values characteristic of the New Kingdom's "Age of Personal Piety": away from material success attained through practical action, and towards inner peace achieved through patient endurance and passive acceptance of an inscrutable divine will.The author draws an emphatic contrast between two types of men: the "silent man", who goes about his business without drawing attention to himself or demanding his rights, and the "heated man", who makes a nuisance of himself to everyone and is constantly picking fights with others over matters of no real importance. Contrary to worldly expectation, the author assures his reader that the former will ultimately receive the divine blessing, while the latter will inevitably go to destruction. Amenemope counsels modesty, self-control, generosity, and scrupulous honesty, while discouraging pride, impetuosity, self-advancement, fraud, and perjury—not only out of respect for Maat, the cosmic principle of right order, but also because "attempts to gain advantage to the detriment of others incur condemnation, confuse the plans of god, and lead inexorably to disgrace and punishment."

One can very easily subtract all the supernatural ingredients, and still take most of the advice in that last sentence.

Though all extant copies of Amenemope are of a later date, the work is thought to have been composed in the Ramesside Period, during which the tribes of Israel first became a unified nation.Egyptian influence on Israel and Judah was particularly strong in the reigns of Solomon and Hezekiah during Egypt's Third Intermediate Period; as a result, "Hebrew literature is permeated with concepts and figures derived from the didactic treatises of Egypt", with Amenemope often cited as the foremost example. Even in his first brief publication of excerpts from Amenemope in 1922, Budge noted its obvious resemblance to the biblical wisdom books. He amplified these comments in his 1923 and 1924 publications, observing that the religiously based morality of Amenemope "closely resembles" the precepts of the Hebrew Bible, and adducing specific parallels between Amenemope and texts in Proverbs, Psalms, and Deuteronomy.  Others soon followed his lead.

There are (as there always is in the realm of Egyptology) disputes as to which came first, but the majority of scholars have ruled otherwise:

By the 1960s there was a virtual consensus among scholars in support of the priority of Amenemope and its influence on Proverbs. For example, John A. Wilson declared in the mid-twentieth century: "[W]e believe that there is a direct connection between these two pieces of wisdom literature, and that Amen-em-Opet was the ancestor text. The secondary nature of the Hebrew seems established." Many study Bibles and commentaries followed suit, including the Jerusalem Bible, introductions to the Old Testament by Pfeiffer and Eissfeldt, and others. The translators of the Catholic New American Bible, reflecting and extending this agreement, even went so far as to emend the obscure Hebrew text of Proverbs 22:19 (traditionally translated as "I have made known to you this day, even to you") to read "I make known to you the words of Amen-em-Ope."

There are of course text comparisons, and they tend to be startling. In the interest of brevity, I’ll only quote three:

(Proverbs 22:17-18):"Incline thine ear, and hear the words of the wise, And apply thine heart to my doctrine; For it is pleasant if thou keep them in thy belly, that they may be established together upon thy lips"

(Amenemope, ch1):"Give thine ear, and hear what I say, And apply thine heart to apprehend; It is good for thee to place them in thine heart, let them rest in the casket of thy belly; That they may act as a peg upon thy tongue"

(Proverbs 22:22):"Rob not the poor, for he is poor, neither oppress (or crush) the lowly in the gate."

(Amenemope, ch2):"Beware of robbing the poor, and oppressing the afflicted."

(Proverbs 22:24-5): "Do not befriend the man of anger, Nor go with a wrathful man, Lest thou learn his ways and take a snare for thy soul."

(Amenemope, ch10): "Associate not with a passionate man, Nor approach him for conversation; Leap not to cleave to such an one; That terror carry thee not away."

While some may say that plagiarism is too strong a word to use (ancient peoples did borrow from one another copiously, and without attribution was likely a foreign concept back in the day), I haven’t found anything in the bible that hasn’t been borrowed wholesale from other, older cultures or mythologies.

Go figure.

Till the next post, then.

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Come on dude, you can't be serious

via Pale Is The New Tan by elusive obvious on 1/24/10


Ugh he's so shiny ;-(
Thanks to break.com for the pic.

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Gen 4 Glock at Shot Show



via DefensiveCarry Concealed Carry Forum by threefeathers on 1/23/10

I was with Mas Ayoob at the Glock booth and I fondled the 4th Gen G17. I love it, I like the feel, the serrations, the balance, and I'm just flat going to get one. I like the backstrap as it is but others might like the add on.
I told them I'm going to add this on several sites and was chuckled at, "You'll be 96th in line" someone said. I may be wrong, but I think i dood it first. :wink:

A Tanga Image

‘Piracy Isn’t Killing Music’ Radiohead’s Guitarist Says

via TorrentFreak by Ernesto on 1/24/10

obrienIn an attempt to take a stand against the labels, several well known artists including Radiohead formed the Featured Artists Coalition last year, a lobby group that aims to end the extortion-like practices of record labels and allow artists to gain more control over their own work.

Radiohead and others are unhappy with the fact that the labels, represented by lobby groups such as the RIAA and IFPI, are pushing for anti-piracy legislation without consulting the artists they claim to represent. Radiohead, who used BitTorrent to leak one of their songs, went as far as being willing to show up as a witness against the RIAA in court.

In a new MIDEM interview, Radiohead guitarist Ed O’Brien stands up for file-sharers once again, stating that piracy is not killing the music industry in his view.

O’Brien is no stranger when it comes to piracy. “There’s a very strong part of me that feels that peer-to-peer illegal downloading is just a more sophisticated version of what we did in the 80s, which was home taping,” he said, something the music industry strongly discouraged at the time.

“If they really like it, some of them might buy the records,” he said, adding that if they don’t buy the albums they might buy a concert ticket, t-shirt or other merchandising.

“I have a problem about it when people in the industry say ‘it’s killing the industry’, it’s the thing that’s ripping us apart’,” O’Brien said, adding: “I don’t believe it actually is.”

According to O’Brien the music industry is using analogue business models in a digital age. “You’ve got to license out more music, more Spotifys, more websites selling more music. You’ve got to make it slightly cheaper as well to get music in order to compete with the peer-to-peers.”

Radiohead’s guitarist says he’s surprised that the music industry is still struggling with the digital transition, and urges the labels to “move quicker” and get their content out there at a fair price.

Article from: TorrentFreak, check out our new blog at FreakBits.

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Scorpions To End Career

via News by Associated Press on 1/24/10

The German rock band Scorpions is bringing down the curtain on a career spanning more than four decades.

The band, known for its early 1990s hit "Wind of Change" among others, said on its Web site Sunday that "we agree we have reached the end of the road."

695191

It said it would end its career with a final album - Sting In The Tail, to be released in March - and a tour that will start in Germany in May and take it across the world "over the next few years."

Guitarist Rudolf Schenker founded the band in Hannover in 1965. Singer Klaus Meine joined a few years later. Both men are 61.

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