via Fork Party by GOB BLUTH on 2/11/10
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February 14, 2010
This Is Going To Be Awesome
My Country ‘Tis of Thee, Sweet Land of Dependency
via Big Government by Dan Mitchell on 2/12/10
If you want to get depressed or angry, the New York Times has an article celebrating the effort by politicians at all levels of government to lure more people into the food stamp program. New York City is running ads in foreign languagues asking people to stick their snouts in the public trough. The City is even signing up prisoners when they get out of jail. The state of New York, meanwhile, actually set up quotas for enrolling new recipients. And on the federal level, there apparently is a program that gives states “bonuses” for putting more people on the dole. No wonder one out of every eight Americans is receiving food stamps.
By the way, this is not just the fault of Democrats. The ranking Republican on the Agriculture Committee is a big defender of the program, in part because of the sordid pact among urban and rural politicians to support each other’s handouts. And President George W. Bush’s food stamp administrator actually had the gall to assert “food stamps is not welfare.” No wonder the burden of federal spending skyrocketed during the reign of so-called compassionate conservatism.
The correct policy, of course, is to get the federal government out of the welfare business. If Mayor Bloomberg thinks it is a “civic duty” to expand food stamps, he should see whether New York City voters agree with him – and want to foot the bill.
A decade ago, New York City officials were so reluctant to give out food stamps, they made people register one day and return the next just to get an application. The welfare commissioner said the program caused dependency and the poor were “better off” without it. Now the city urges the needy to seek aid (in languages from Albanian to Yiddish). Neighborhood groups recruit clients at churches and grocery stores, with materials that all but proclaim a civic duty to apply — to “help New York farmers, grocers, and businesses.”
There is even a program on Rikers Island to enroll inmates leaving the jail. “Applying for food stamps is easier than ever,” city posters say. …These changes, combined with soaring unemployment, have pushed enrollment to record highs, with one in eight Americans now getting aid. “I’ve seen a remarkable shift,” said Senator Richard G. Lugar, an Indiana Republican and prominent food stamp supporter. “People now see that it’s necessary to have a strong food stamp program.” …The program has commercial allies, in farmers and grocery stores, and it got an unexpected boost from President George W. Bush, whose food stamp administrator, Eric Bost, proved an ardent supporter. “I assure you, food stamps is not welfare,” Mr. Bost said in a recent interview. Still, some critics see it as welfare in disguise and advocate more restraints. …The federal government now gives bonuses to states that enroll the most eligible people.
…In 2008, the program got an upbeat new name: the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program — SNAP.
…Since Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg took office eight years ago, the rolls have doubled, to 1.6 million people…
Albany made a parallel push to enroll the working poor, setting an explicit goal for caseload growth. “This is all federal money — it drives dollars to local economies,” said Russell Sykes, a senior program official. But Mr. Turner, now a consultant in Milwaukee, warns that the aid encourages the poor to work less and therefore remain in need. “It’s going to be very difficult with large swaths of the lower middle class tasting the fruits of dependency to be weaned from this,” he said.
The Flaming Lips' Crib Is Even More Psychedelic Than Their Music [Architecture]
via Gizmodo by Kyle VanHemert on 2/13/10
Wayne Coyne, frontman of the acclaimed rock band The Flaming Lips, recently renovated his Oklahoma compound, and the new space gives the group's music a run for its money in terms of psychedelic flair, playful construction, and sheer imagination.The last we saw of Coyne, he was, naturally, sitting in a bathtub on Google Street View. If you thought that was the weirdest place he bathes, wait until you see his bathroom. Its Gaudiesque drip-castle design—Coyne refers to it as the "drug damaged, artist element of [his] home"—is certainly one of the highlights of his new pad, realized by FitzSimmons Architects.
An adjoining alcove, accessed by a glittering circular passageway, scores serious bonus points for including the Giz-featured world's most beautiful object: the Gyrofocus fireplace.
Having seen Coyne's appropriately trippy poop cave, it's got me wondering if other musicians' homes reflect their sensibilities as closely. Is John Mayer's house ordinary and forgettable on the outside but chaotically and impenetrably decorated on the inside? Does Prince's Minneapolis home have a bunch of sex swings? Yes, yes, I'm sure it does. [Fitzsimmons Architects via Design Milk via Geekosystem]
Black and White Photography by David Fokos
via PicoCool / Popular items by phogph on 2/12/10
David Fokos, a New England based artist, has recognized that the austere presentation of a single object allows the viewer to more fully appreciate its beauty.3 Vote(s)Not so intelligent man tattoos a 1 year old child...nice work.
via Tattoo Blog by MJones on 2/14/10
The last time that I wrote about children being tattooed by their elders, I had hoped it would be the last. I should have known better because now not only is there more recent news about a child being tattooed, but it’s the youngest child that I have ever heard of being tattooed. This one is truly disgusting, folks and I wouldn’t keep reporting on these sorts of incidents, if only they would go away. But they won’t.
20-year-old Louisville, Ohio resident Lee M. Deitrick currently stands accused of tattooing the letter “A” on the buttocks of a 1-year-old child. The child was visiting Deitrick’s family home this past November when Deitrick apparently decided to apply the tattoo. Police are uncertain as to what the “A” tattoo represents. At present time, Deitrick is facing a child endangering charge, which is a felony.
LOUISVILLE, Ohio - A 20-year-old man who police say put a tattoo on the rear end of a 1-year-old girl is facing a felony child endangering charge.
Lee. M. Deitrick is accused of applying the tattoo in early November while the child was visiting his home.
The tattoo, which is the letter “A,” could not be removed, according to a complaint police filed with Canton Municipal Court.
The child was brought to the home by a female relative, according to Police Chief Andrew Turowski. Deitrick is not the girl’s father, the chief said.
It was not clear why the child was given a tattoo or what the “A” signifies.
“It is hard to fathom why someone would try to do that,” Turowski said. “It was at his residence. The female relative was the only one with the child, so I guess it is safe to say she was baby-sitting. I would not call her a suspect at this time.”
A woman identifying herself as Deitrick’s grandmother, with whom he lives, recalls the infant’s 16-year-old aunt being the one who was with the girl when the tattoo was applied.
“We have nothing to suggest the mother gave permission to do it (apply the tattoo),” Turowski said.
Very sick stuff, indeed. I could never understand what would possess anyone to apply a homemade tattoo to a child, especially a toddler. It just doesn’t make sense. Then again, a lot of things don’t make sense in this world. All I can really say about this is that Deitrick will surely receive an adequate punishment and that hopefully in the future, the child’s mother will be more careful about who she leaves her baby with.
Tags: 1-year-old child tattooed, Canton Municipal Court, child endangering charge, Dislike, felony, Health Risks, Lee M Deitrick, Louisville Ohio, News, Police Chief Andrew Turowski, Scratchers, StoriesDon't Get Mugged In Seattle
via BuzzFeed - WTF Feed on 2/10/10
Because the Metro security guards there are pretty much worthless.
Action Jeans - I'm sad / proud to say I had these as a kid!!!
via Fork Party by GOB BLUTH on 2/14/10
If Belted Sweaters and Whiskey Toothpaste weren’t enough to satisfy your manly fashion needs martial artist and Internet legend Chuck Norris brings you Action Jeans.
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Jessica Alba Is Worthy Of A Tribute - Beautiful photos...
via Dirty Rotten Whore by webmaster on 2/11/10
Here’s an awesome compilation of the hottest and sexy pics of Jessica Alba ever.
The Trashiest Place on the Planet!
via 2leep.com latest links on 2/12/10
The Trashiest Place on the Planet! It is both sick and scary, yet somehow amazing to look at nonetheless - more trash than you can even imagine.
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12 Crucial Sex Lessons from Movies & TV
via The Best Article Every day by bspcn on 2/11/10
Written by Col. Hans Longshanks
It was probably close to three in the morning in your living room. You were six sodas and three gorditas deep with the volume turned way down on the set, anxiously awaiting some practical knowledge regarding the mysterious act of sex. From the scenes that put wisdom in your brain and a strain in your shorts, these were the moments that taught you more about getting laid than anything else. Here are some of the lessons you learned.
Porky’s
LESSON: Don’t be afraid to smell like a Dude.
Before Kim Cattrall was slutting it up on Sex In The City, she had a howling appreciation for the stench of the boy’s locker rooms. It’s not that Tinactin and Ben-Gay are aphrodisiacs. It’s that girls like the way guys smell, and vice versa. It’s one of the things that’s kept the human race boning since day one.Weird Science
LESSON: You can’t build a woman. So you need to figure out how the the real ones work.
Gary and Wyatt use their sweet hacking / collage skills to build a mega babe with their Comadore 64. So much for playing Bionic Commando in a pair of Umbros. In the end, the boys don’t get any tail from their creation. It reminds us that science has not yet devised a way to create the perfect woman (not yet). So we better learn how to work the ones around us.True Lies
LESSON: Use words to bring out a woman’s inner-sexiness.
Who knew a tape recorder with a cheesy French accent could turn Jamie Lee into a wind-up Strippo-Roboto? Note to self: Hit up Radio Shack before the company holiday party, or at least prep with a few original lines.Baywatch
LESSON: Sometimes women throw themselves at you. Learn to catch them.
Although the most watched television show of all time neglected to inform that the beaches of Los Angeles are filthy cesspools of trash and acoustic buskers, it did have its share of practical lessons regarding the opposite sex. Follow up lesson: fake boobs are totally awesome.Roseanne (National Anthem)
Lesson: Opposites attract.
Chicks don’t want a guy who has more hair products than them (or shower gel with exfoliating aloe crystals). Conversely, guys don’t really want a girl who is this into sports. And as an absolute, no one wants Roseanne.Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Lesson: Go big, go home, or go online to find it.
“Anatomically Correct” is for medical textbooks. If you had to draw the same chick 1400 times for a minute of animation, of course the boobs would be bigger than the head. My point is this. Jessica Rabbit was basically the graphic interpretation of what what 99.9 % of dudes want to screw, and there is NOTHING wrong with that.Splash
LESSON: Sexy, eccentric chicks are often the hardest to bone.
The issue of Mo’ Mermaid, Mo’ Problem has been covered throughout history. What it basically amounts to is this. Mermaids are sexy, but there’s just no physical way to get your hump on. Sometimes you just have to set your sights on conquerable territories.Y Tu Mama Tambien
LESSON: Let women feel in control of their sexiness.
As much as you like air-drumming to the Spin Doctors, surrender control of the jukebox to any woman. Have her choose where you’re going to dinner. This is just speaking to a bigger point. Let women make the decisions on the smaller things, and play along when they’re expressing their sexual side. It’s better for both of you on the highway to bone town.Fear (NSFW)
LESSON: Some chicks are turned on by thrilling situations. Accommodate this at all costs.
The original version of Wild Horses is from the Rolling Stones album Sticky Fingers. “Graceless lady you know who I am / You know I can’t let you slide through my hands / Wild horses, couldn’t drag me away.” My point is that if you are ever on a roller coaster with Reese Witherspoon and she wants you to finger bang her, you better sack up.Wild Things (NSFW)
LESSON: Cover the little red recording light.
Memories and photos fade. Video has a much better shelf life.Fast Times
LESSON: Don’t jerk off so much.
Yeah, It relieves stress and takes that edge off. But doing it too much is only going to decrease the amount that you get laid, and might even get you caught. Seriously, sometime that edge is exactly what you need.Everything You Need To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)
Lesson: Getting laid is an incredibly complex process. Relax and go with it.
It helps to understand that the delicate dance between you and a woman you are trying to bed is a feat that involves a level of coordination and strategy you don’t employ on a regular basis. Go with the flow, stay the course, and be prepared buy brunch. But let your body take care of the rest– it knows what it’s doing.Lessons by “Sex Specialist” Buck Russell
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Bonus!
Interesting Facts About Sex
Written by mensfitnessDid You Know?
— The average American man’s erect penis is five to seven inches long with a circumference of four to six inches, according to The Kinsey Institute.— 46% of women would give up getting laid for two weeks rather than logging off the Internet for the same amount of time, according to a survey conducted by Intel.
— Want the ultimate orgasm? Abstain from any sexual activity at all for three weeks. That’s the amount of time it takes for your testosterone levels to peak and boost your libido, according to a study published in the World Journal of Urology.
— There are 500-1,000 deaths per year from autoerotic asphyxiation. that’s equal to the numbers of murders in New York City each year.
— Spain, Brazil, and Italy produce the best lovers, reports global research site OnePoll.com. The worst? Germans, who women dubbed “too smelly.” Englishmen were too lazy, and Swedes finished too quickly. As for the Yanks? They landed somewhere in the middle.
— Forget hitting the shower after a romp — 36% of people under the age of 35 go right onto Facebook and Twitter, according to consumer electronic site Retrevo.com.
— 11% of guys say they use sex to relieve stress.
— You help her get a good night’s sleep. University of Pennsylvania researchers claim that women in stable relationships get better shut-eye than single women do.
— More than one in three women are having sex at least three times every week. Not quite one in four men (28%) are as lucky.
— Not going out as much? 32% percent of men say they are masturbating more since the recession.
— Sex-related entertainment (porn mags or videos, strip clubs, escort services, phone sex, sexting, etc.) has taken the plunge with the economy: Forty-two percent of guys cut it from their budget entirely.
— Women are having sex 17% more often than the average guy.
— One in three men and women are completely satisfied with their sex life. (Alas, the same number of both sexes think their sex life could drastically improve.)
Rare $25 Million Ferrari 250 GTO Offered for Sale
via Luxist by Jared Paul Stern on 2/11/10
Ralph Lauren has one. So does Pink Floyd drummer Nick Mason and some of the richest men in the world. Now you can get your hands on an extremely rare automotive icon, a legendary 1963 Ferrari 250 GTO being offered for private treaty sale by RM Auctions, at a price that could easily top $25 million. The car, chassis no. 4675 GT from an important Japanese collection, is one of only 36 250 GTOs originally produced and one of a limited few with Series II GTO bodywork. In 2008 British real estate baron Bill Ainscough reportedly sold his 250 GTO for about $28 million to an anonymous tycoon, making it the world's most expensive car. "The Ferrari GTO is unquestionably one of the most iconic and coveted cars in the world," notes Max Girardo, Managing Director of RM Europe. "This is truly a rare occasion for collectors to acquire such an important piece of automotive history."
[via JustLuxe]
Filed under: Wheels, Wealth
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Nothing Says I Love You Like A Stuffed Scrotum? [Nsfw]
via Kotaku by Mike Fahey on 2/11/10
Who needs an actual game to generate buzz? Certainly not Postal developers Running With Scissors, celebrating Valentine's Day with an adorable plush scrotum named Krotchy.Every once in a while we half-heartedly wonder when Postal III is going to come out. We haven't seen much of the game, and Running With Scissors is supposed to have it out sometime this year. After a bit of wondering we go back to doing whatever more productive thing we were doing before that, forgetting all about the game, until they send us a press release like this.
"Not to put too fine a point on it," explained RWS Proctologist Vince Desi, "but Krotchy is a plush, anthropomorphic scrotum. He was originally created for POSTAL 2 and was intended as a spoof of seasonal 'must have' toys like Tickle Me Elmo. But the thing about our fans is that they fetishize every possible aspect of our games. Krotchy had cajones – hell, he WAS cajones – so of course the gamers loved him and wanted one of their own."
I can guarantee you that there is almost no situation in which this would be a good Valentine's Day gift. I say almost, because hey, I've seen stranger things than a man or woman that really enjoys getting 8 inch tall plush ball sacks as testaments of love.
You can buy them at the Running With Scissors store right now for $10. Why? Who knows. Besides, they've been out since November. If you haven't bought one by now...
John Mayer Has A Racist Penis
via Celebrity Odor by admin on 2/12/10
Following his controversial Playboy interview where he claimed:
My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.
Here’s a clip of his penis in action….
Census 2010: Up to 800 Canvassers With Criminal Records
via Big Government by Bob McCarty on 2/12/10
Despite reports last fall that the Census Bureau had severed ties with community-organizing group known as ACORN, Americans might want to think twice before opening their doors to canvassers for the 2010 Census after reading what I discovered this morning.
According to a report issued by the Government Accountability Office Oct. 7, approximately 785 employees with disqualifying criminal records could still end up working for the Census Bureau this year. Excerpts (below) show the exact wording of the agency’s frightening information about the people who go door to door conducting interviews and collecting information for the 2010 Census:
The Bureau’s efforts to fingerprint employees, which was required as part of a criminal background check, did not proceed smoothly, in part because of training issues. As a result, over 35,000 temporary census workers — over a fifth of the address canvassing workforce — were hired despite the fact that their fingerprints could not be processed and they were not fully screened for employment eligibility.
…of the prints that could be processed, fingerprint results identified 1,800 temporary workers (1.1 percent of total hires) with criminal records that name check alone failed to identify. Of the 1,800 workers with criminal records, approximately 750 (42 percent) were terminated or were further reviewed because the Bureau determined their criminal records — which included crimes such as rape, manslaughter, and child abuse — disqualified them from census employment.
…we estimate that approximately 785 employees with unclassifiable prints could have disqualifying criminal records but still end up working for the Bureau
In addition to the news about the criminal element aspect of the 2010 Census, the 2009 report contained an estimate of the total cost of the 2010 Census being some $3.4 billion higher than the estimate in a 2006 GAO report. Compared to ex-cons knocking at my door, I guess I can live with cost overruns. But I digress.
The Best Slam Dunk EVER
via 2leep.com latest links on 2/12/10
The Best Slam Dunk EVER The Best Slam Dunk Ever In The History Of Basketball
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14 Romantic Gestures Gone Terribly Wrong
via Neatorama by Jill Harness on 2/12/10
Everyone loves a good love story, but when you’re single or competitive, sometimes it’s nice to hear a story about an epic romantic fail to help cheer you up. That’s why we’ve decided to help brighten your Valentine’s Day with this depressingly hilarious list of romantic misfires. If you’re alone on the holiday, it should help remind you that relationships don’t always mean smooth sailing. If you’re in a relationship, these stories might just help you avoid tragic mishaps of your own. Whatever your specific situation this year, have a happy Valentine’s Day and try not to end up like one of these poor suckers.
Bottoms Up, Rings Down!
Putting a ring inside your girl friend’s Wendy’s Frosty may seem romantic, but when you and your friends encourage her to chug it, you might just ruin the surprise. At least, that’s what happened to Reed Harris, when his girlfriend, Kaitlin Whipple, opened up her gullet and downed the contents on her Frosty, only to see her cheering crowd suddenly go blank and look at each other with worry. “I felt nothing at all,” she told Lauer. “I was racing my friends, so there was no way I was going to lose that competition.”
That’s right, Kaitlin drank her engagement ring and had to go to the hospital, where the ring was found via X-ray. Reed proposed to Kaitlin with the X-ray image of the ring in place of the actual jewelry. A few days later, with the help of plenty of fiber, the couple recovered the ring –and promptly had it cleaned!
Source: MSNBC Image via Kaitlin’s Website.
Try Chewing Next Time
Lest you think that Kaitlin is the only woman to have swallowed her diamond ring during an engagement proposal gone wrong, here’s a proposal story that “takes the cake.” Mr. Chen, a resident of China, thought it would be really romantic to bake his engagement ring into a cake to surprise his girlfriend. Chen said he was inspired by romantic comedies he’s seen, which always tends to be a bad start.
His girlfriend, Wen, was eating the cake when he bent down on his knee to propose, and then she suddenly passed out. “I realized I had just swallowed the ring with a full mouth of cake,” she said.
Chen called the police who told him to visit the hospital, where they were able to use a catheter to remove the ring. When Wen woke up, she promptly said yes.
Source: Ananova Image via Chotda [Flickr] (not the actual cake in the story)
Leaves Your Emotions Soaring
Admittedly, giving your girlfriend a balloon and then having a ring fall out when you pop it is really romantic, but I’m sure we can all see the infinite number of things that could go wrong through this method of “popping the question.” Lefkos Hajji didn’t consider all those potential problems when he had a florist hide a ring worth over $1,000 inside a balloon.
Thought the florist warned him to hold on tight to the balloon, Lefkos lost the balloon moments after leaving the shop when a gust of wind tore it from his hands. He claims he chased the balloon in his car for two days before he gave up hope. “I just watched as it went further and further into the air. I felt like such a plonker. It cost a fortune and I knew my girlfriend would kill me.”
While Lefkos may get a lot of points on the romantic scale, his inability to see the obvious dangers in this plan indicate that he may be a little short on the intelligence side. Evidence that his IQ is lower than the average bear is even stronger when you consider that the girl he is so in love with, presumably for her kindness and lovingness, refuses to speak with him until he gets her a new one. Personally, I would laugh and feel bad if my boyfriend did something like this. Of course, I think if he were to come up with a plan like this, he’d have an easy work around to prevent the danger from ever happening. –For example, this all could have been avoided if Lefkos put a note that said “will you marry me” in the balloon and then handed the girl the ring when she read the note. It’s just as sweet, not as dangerous.
Source: The Sun UK Image via Kaptain Kobold [Flickr] (not the balloon in the story)
Rejection is Better In Private
I’ve always thought that if you were going to ask a girl to marry you in front of a massive audience, you’d better know she’s going to say yes. In this situation, even if the girl says yes, you still can’t be sure she actually meant it when she had that much pressure on her to agree. Of course, not every girl will say yes no matter how much she feels pressure, as seen in the video above, where a woman rejects her prospective husband in front of a full arena and tv cameras.
Video link
The Rejection Should Not Be Televised
Like women swallowing wedding rings, rejecting potential spouses in public is not entirely uncommon. This woman’s face tells the answer before he even asks. This could have been a really romantic moment of television, but when the girl’s obviously not into it, the result is just plain awkward…not to mention painful. This couldn’t have been good for the show’s ratings.
Video link
Keep Your Feet On The Ground
Sometimes all it takes for a proposal to go wrong is a little too much romance. When one man proposed on top of a steep hiking trail, the girl was so excited that she managed to fall off the cliffs after excitedly saying yes. She dropped ten feet off a steep rockface (like the one seen above) and went unconscious after hitting the ground. Luckily, park police were able to fly her out of the area with a helicopter and none of her injuries were life-threatening.
Source: NY Daily News Image via Sharron McClellan [Flickr]
You Have The Right To Be An Idiot
It’s generally not a great idea to use government resources to scare the hell out of your girlfriend just so you can pop the question, but Baltimore State Delegate Jon S. Cardin is far too much of a risk-taker to heed such common sense. As such, he thought it would be a great idea to borrow a friend’s yacht and then convince local, on-duty police to raid the vessel with both boats and a helicopter, all in a strange, elaborate method of proposing to his girlfriend. Officers searched the boat and Megan Homer thought she was about to be handcuffed when Jon bent down on one knee and asked for her hand.
Unfortunately for Mr. Cardin, officials for the Baltimore Police Department asked for his explanation. The officials were furious to hear about such an abuse of police resources when the city was already strapped for resources and police were in short supply even at dangerous crime scenes. Anthony Guglielmi, the Police Department’s chief spokesman, stated “The Police Department is not in the business of renting out the helicopter and the boats for bachelor parties and birthdays. We’re in the business of upholding public safety in Baltimore.”
When Cardin actually addressed the public about the matter, he claimed the police performed a “routine safety check,” and left out the part about the helicopter. At least he promised to reimburse the city for any expenses related to the proposal.
Source: Baltimore Sun Image via Chris Hau [Flickr]
Don’t Kiss Someone To Deaf
Marriage proposals are not the only romantic gestures that go wrong of course. Even something as simple as a kiss can go very, very wrong in some situations. Take for example the Chinese woman who became partially deaf for two months after receiving a mind-numbingly passionate kiss from her lover. Somehow the kiss created pressure build up in her head so severe that her right ear drum blew out, leaving it completely deaf.
“While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution,” said the Chinese newspaper that originally covered the story.
Source: Reuters Image via Life Photographer Alfred Eisenstaedt
The Kiss Heard Round The World
Speaking of kisses that really make an impact, it’s important to know the cultural implications of public displays of affection before you kiss someone publicly on stage. Richard Gere learned this the hard way when he managed to piss off practically everyone in India by kissing the Celebrity Big Brother winner, Shilpa Shetty, on stage during an Aids awareness rally in New Dehli. In India, it is considered obscene to publicly display any form of affection and Gere’s kissing Shetty’s hands and face were considered vulgar to those watching. Some people were so incensed by his actions that they actually burned effigies of him on the street, while protesters in other areas shouted “death to Shilpa Shetty.”
Source: BBC
Only Some Things Are Forever
Getting a life-sized portrait of your wife and children tattooed on your back might not be on most people’s to do list, but it most certainly displays a life-long commitment to your spouse. Unfortunately for Alan Jenkins, his wife was most certainly not willing to return the favor. While he was going through the 20-hour long, $1500 process of a full-back tattoo, she was busy cheating with a man who was 10-years-her-junior that she met at work. Of course, Alan didn’t find out until after the tattoo was complete, “I had it because I thought we loved each other – I feel very betrayed.” Strangely, he’s decided to not have her image removed.
His wife, Lisa, tried to defend herself by saying she never meant to fall in love with fitness instructor Kaspars Gavars and that she never wanted Alan to get the tattoo in the first place. Still, waiting for your husband to complete his tattoo before you tell him about your affair is pretty heinous.
This incident reminds me of the scene in “Born In East L.A.” where Cheech is told to remove the tattoo of a woman on someone’s back. Since he obviously can’t remove it, he draws devil horns and a mustache on the face. Maybe Alan needs to see this movie for some ideas.
Source: Daily Mail UK
Passengers Only Beyond This Point
In olden times, it was ok to walk your sweetie all the way down the tarmac just to spend the most possible time together before kissing each other goodbye, but in the days of the TSA, it’s not so simple. Personally, I thought this was pretty common knowledge, but I guess I was wrong because apparently, because one man actually shut down a whole airport for five hours just to kiss his girlfriend goodbye.
The couple remains unidentified, but I’m sure more than a few people at the airport wish they knew who was responsible for making every single passenger go through security a second time, delaying flights for hours. The TSA agent that left his post, letting the man slip into the secure area undetected, was suspended on administrative leave.
Source: Reuters Image
Only Babies Can Go Naked and Shoot People With Arrows
One of the most frequent reasons men seem to get in trouble for romantic gestures is in a strange attempt to impress a girl. While outrageous methods occasionally catch a woman’s eye, many stupid ideas not only fall flat, but also result in arrests and mayhem.
James Miller is a perfect example. This young Romeo had a bit too much to drink one night and decided that relying on cupid wasn’t good enough to take his relationship to the next level –instead, he decided, he needed to be cupid. So he took the next logical step and jumped onto the field of a soccer game dressed in only his boxers, shooting roses from an arrow at the crowd of entertained onlookers.
Naturally, he was arrested, fined and banned from any further soccer games for the next three years. Unfortunately for Miller though, his girlfriend, Jade Thompson, had quite the opposite reaction to his stunt and dumped him shortly after the incident. To make matters worse, since he’s in the military, his superior officers warned that he may even be court-martialed for the stunt.
“That sort of behavior always seems to work some romantic magic in the movies. Now I have no girlfriend and no job,” he explained outside of a courtroom hearing.
Source: Telegraph UK
Crime Doesn’t Pay or Get You Girls
What could be worse than streaking along a soccer field to impress a girl? Drunkenly stealing a plane and then crashing it into a soybean field. Michael Santos had already lost his driver’s license permanently, but that didn’t deter his desire to impress his girlfriend by showing her that he could fly a plane.
So, he drove her to the airport while drunk, broke into a plane and then managed to catch the wing on fire before he even reached the end of the taxiway. He then missed a curve in the runway veered into a soybean field and cut up a bunch of the plants with the plane’s propeller. Police estimate the damage to be around $160,000.
No word yet on whether his girlfriend actually stuck by him after this moronic stunt, but the fact that she got into the plane with her drunken boyfriend is a good indicator that she seems to lack common sense enough to dump him for this.
Source: MSNBC Image via Cranky Guy Media [Flickr] (not the actual plane involved)
Don’t Flash Cash You Don’t Have
The spirit of capitalism is alive and well in China, or at least when it comes to trying to impress women. A man in the Heilongjiang province was arrested last year after trying to impress his girlfriend by depositing a 250 million yuan ($36.5 million) check into his bank account. The only problem, the check was a fake and he bought it only so he could look cool by depositing it in front of her.
I’m sure you can guess what happened afterward; bank clerks knew the check was fake and called the police and the man was arrested. He immediately confessed that he bought the fake check for the sake of impressing his lover.
The moral here is it’s better to be poor and honest than truthful while under arrest.
Source: China Daily
What about you readers? Have any love stories from hell, or know someone else that does? Do share.
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